The dates from hell that are taking Twitter by storm

'I went on a date and he took me on a burglary'

Most people can confess to a bad first date. And after one writer tweeted his experience, hundreds of people have taken to the social networking site to recount their tales of disastrous dates. Hilarious stories are now gathering pace on Twitter, including one from a woman who turned up at a blind date's house to find him in a dressing gown and sporting an electronic monitoring bracelet. He had the cheek to ask: 'Shall we just stay in?'

The tales were posted online this week after columnist Rhodri Marsden shared his own disastrous experience at a pub in Clapham. He wrote on Twitter: 'I've just walked past the Firefly, where I went on a date in 2002 that was so bad I heard myself say "So, what's Wigan like, then?". He later explained: 'We had nothing in common, and nothing to say. 'The silences became excruciating. She was from Wigan, and I actually heard myself saying: "So, what's Wigan like, then?"'

The post led to hundreds of his 17,000 followers telling snippets in up to 140 characters.

Marsden then set up a website called to post the stories and a dedicated Twitter page called First Date Hell.

The sometime-musician writes for the Independent's Cyberclinic column, about technology and the internet. He told the paper: 'If you've ever dated via non-traditional means – lonely hearts columns, internet dates, speed dates, or inappropriate blind dates set up by well-meaning but unhelpful friends – you'll have a stack of anecdotes detailing the occasions it went badly wrong. 'Whether you disliked the other person, they disliked you, or you found some kind of grim solidarity in your mutual loathing, that unique social discomfort tends to be seared into your memory forever.

'The stories become dinner-party staples; your appalling experiences, mellowed by time, transforming into comedy gold.' He claimed the British tended to have 'more potent' tales because they were more socially inept, more apologetic and more likely to put up with rudeness and idiocy. Brits will sit in pubs for hours with people they dislike because they're scared of confronting someone, Marsden said. He said the stories online had been 'stripped of extraneous detail and they become brilliantly funny one-liners'.

The majority of stories came from women complaining about the opposite sex. Marsden apologised on behalf of the male population, and promised they would try and behave better. Another dating account told how a woman turned up with 25 photographs of American poet Sylvia Plath's grave 'as a conversation opener'.

And one brazen man made an 18-year-old girl wait in the car while he burgled a house. She had no idea. One complainant added: 'One gentleman took me to the pub car park to show me his motorbike. He revved it for about ten minutes then did a lap and drove off.'
Several people also revealed some of the most ridiculous excuses they - or their date - had used to get out of a date.

One woman's date ended when the man said he had to get home to the chicken breast going off in his fridge, while another said he had to go and see a friend's cat.


Elle_c_emm: 'Met guy at his flat, opened door in blue check fleece dressing gown and an electronic tag on his ankle, "Shall we just stay in?'

Bohemiangirl: 'I went on a date and he took me on a burglary. I stayed in the car, not having a clue (I was 18) what he was doing in that house.'

Stevyncolgan: 'I dated a proto-Goth who spent the entire meal asking me to describe dead people and how peaceful they looked (I was a cop then)'

Leighblue: 'I Had date, no chemistry, didn't call her. Years later saw her on TV makeover show, saying sadly she'd only been on 1 date in her life.'

Davis2908: 'I had one who pretended he was a widow having lost his wife to cancer! when I became suspicious he said "she's not dead *exactly*"?!'

Matthewlowry: 'Friend got so drunk she fell asleep on the loo for 20m then couldn't find table again. Date had to stand and wave across restaurant.'

Elle_c_emm: 'I am living proof, after one date, that the line "i can't see you any more, i'm becoming a priest" is still in modern use.'

Kristainchicago: 'First date. asked my age. Me: "32, why?" Him: "Well, I really want kids and at 32, your ovaries are dying.'

Dobster1878: 'another sat down and told me he really only dated black woman. It wasn't a blind date either.'

Eirlysberlin: 'I went on a blind date wearing a bright pink blazer & jeans. I turned up to find my date wearing exactly the same thing.'

Rachelparkin: 'I went on date with guy who said 'seeing as I'm paying' . . . 'we won't have starters and we'll drink tap water'.'

Amsterdammed: 'The pilot said he was married but flew to amsterdam sometimes and was interested in me because I was "Geographically convenient".'

Jimmyshakes101: 'On way to tube after a date, girl said "wait a sec", urinated on someone's driveway & walked away telling me to "hurry up".'

Timlusher: 'Journo mate had dinner date during a week wearing size 20 fatsuit. She changed between courses to an 8. He appeared not to notice.'

MrelizabethB: 'Went on a date with a colleague's brother who didn't believe a kiwi was also a bird. He wanted to see me again because i'm clever.'